Curiosity Kills the Cat
Written by Quinn Johns // August 9, 2012 // 1:00pm MST
In a strange and unexpected turn of events, NASA's newest Mars rover Curiosity has found a lion cub on the surface of Mars. Because Curiosity's mission to analyze everything of interest in the pursuit of signs of life on Mars led it to quickly kill the Martian lion cub using a highly scientific brain smashing hammer. Curiosity then began sequencing the cub's genetic makeup using one of many onboard science and laboratory modules.
The Martian lion cub was a surprise to everybody at NASA's ground control where they only expected to find "rocks and maybe the occasional bit of alien ooze". Mission commander Flint Ironstag said that analysis was underway and the team was awaiting results on the cub, who was dismantled piece by piece using Curiosity's high-powered laser.
"We're just so excited to see if this proves life exists on Mars! But we need to be patient and wait for Curiosity's findings before we can be sure that this is a legitimate sign or not." stated a geologist on the Curiosity team. "As soon as Curiosity has finished quartering the Martian cub the real tests can begin."
Speculation has broken out across the Internet as to what this cub's food source might be. A fan of NASA going by the handle SpaceSpluge on Twitter recently tweeted, "Until they cut into its stomach and analyze the contents therein we can only guess as to what this cute little thing has been eating."
Other people online are beginning to theorize that this could possibly mean there are also Martian gazelle, Martian hippos, and even the far reaching possibility of Martian giraffes.
"You know when you think about it Mars seems like an ideal place for a lion to live", stated a self-proclaimed Space and Everything NASA Nut. "Because when you get down to it, what's Mars anyway? I mean a planet sure, but it almost looks like the great expanse of savannah in Africa."